I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I still have a little drunk in my system
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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