I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
