His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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