you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
