ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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