Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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