My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im holly from the hills drunk
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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