She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The power of my boobs compel you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
