Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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