I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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