I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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