wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
