I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
