I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
