i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
