im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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