I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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