He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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