At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
