And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
