I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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