ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
