so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We need to get me chipped asap
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
