There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
