I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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