Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
