the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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