I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize