I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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