Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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