I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
