All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
