Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
