We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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