i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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