I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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