he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
