you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
