You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
