So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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