i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
