the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
