just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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