It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
