I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When did angry sex become our thing?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
