If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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