just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
