I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
