I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
