let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
