Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
