Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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