And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
