Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Alive.
So much puke
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
