I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
