Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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