i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
