"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
