if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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