You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
