awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
