When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My ATM looks so different sober.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
